"Tiny Glimpses of Hope" or "Nearing the End": Take Your Pick

7 weeks down, 3 to go. Actually though, I count it as 2 weeks because the team will be here the final week. You know what they say about many hands and work. Life has been pretty heavy the last couple of weeks. The patients have all been fine (more or less). So, that has been a huge blessing.

Reflecting on the expectations I had of this journey, I realize that many have been fulfilled. I expected that small behavior changes in the nurses should be counted as victories. I expected to get food poisoning at least once. I expected to learn a little Kurdish. I expected that it would be challenging adjusting to a culture that is very foreign to me. Check on all counts.

The third session was held yesterday (Thursday). I am encouraged each time a session actually happens. It is encouraging because the nurses that attend seem to be really engaged and want to learn. The challenge is getting the staff to translate the classroom knowledge into patient care practices. I have been told many times that this is one of the limitations of the educational system here.

On Thursday I received extra encouragement when I was seeing patients on the ward with one of the nurses. I noticed that each patient had a paper taped to their bedside table. On this paper, he had made a chart that kept track of the what each patient ate and drank and how much they went to the bathroom. All the nurses reading this will know how simple this is; but trust me, this a huge accomplishment. I was positively thrilled and told him so. The work has been quite tough, but helping people make these big changes warms my heart.

This exchange came at the end of my most difficult week here. Actually, this has been the coolest part for me. Through all of the struggles I've had at work, God has been revealing himself to me in truly staggering ways. Ways that have stopped me in my tracks in wonder. I have been spending more time reading the Bible this summer than I have in a long time. And each time God has shown me something new. The word has been a balm to my weary body & soul.

I will leave you with this anecdote. I was eating my lunch with the female nurses in the ladies locker room. Someone put on some music & before I knew it we were all dancing--Kurdish dancing. It was exactly what I needed--a good laugh!

Whistling While I Work

Allow me to start by saying, "Thank you (to the power of infinity)!" for everyone that sent me a message, posted to the blog, emailed me, said an extra prayer or two, or thought about saying a prayer. Your encouragement has touch me deeply, and rest assured that God has and is answering your prayers for me, for the patients, and for the staff daily. A Christain worship song I know asks God to put a new song in our hearts. Well for me God has placed old songs in my heart. I have been humming and singing to myself lately old hymns of my childhood, many of which I haven't heard in years ("Amazing Grace," "Just a Closer Walk with Thee," & "I Walk Through the Garden Alone"). I've also been singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." This is a great song from Monty Python's Life of Brian. It's hilarious.

Also, thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes. I got online today and my inbox was very weighted down with delightfully wonderful messages. I spent yesterday evening with a wonderful family I have met here. She is a pharmacist, he's a neurosurgeon, and their 2 sons are great. We went to one of the mountaintops here; it overlooks Sulaymaniyah. We were there in the evening so the city was mostly lit up (the areas that had power anyway). It was about 10 or more degrees cooler up there which was great. Afterwards we had birthday cake and coffee; a wonderful combination!

Life at the hospital is getting better. I have recently noticed some small behavior changes in the nurses. I'm am celebrating those little victories and encouraging the nurses who have really shown an interest in learning. Oh and another bonus--no one else has died. I am little more aware/diligent now. This is not to say that is the reason no one else has died.

As of this past Thursday, 2 lectures have taken place (really 1.5--but who's counting?--oh yeah, me)! I am so excited to have the opportunity to spend a concentrated amount of time (with reliable translation) talking about key principles in nursing. Word has gotten around the hospital why I am here, and I have been asked to give a lecture to the nurses and residents of the regular intensive care unit about pediatric neurotrauma. So, that will be this Thursday morning.

Neurotrauma is something they see a lot of here; most is from falls or car crashes. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but driving and riding here is just plain scary. There seems to be no rules. I have riden in a lot of countries that have disorganized and chatoic driving; you know, the kind where there is no evidence of any real rules of the road, but people manage somehow. Suly takes the cake. Hands down. Lots of people on the road, going very fast, and going where ever they want. Those of you that know about what happened in Kosova last summer can imagine my anxiety here. It's getting better though. I rarely feel like jumping out of skin anymore--vast improvement.

All things considered, I am doing quite well. I am enjoying the work and the people still. I am also enjoying the few hours of recuperative sleep I get at night. The team is coming 4 weeks from today & I am looking forward to seeing them. That will be great!

Pictures next time. My internet connection is down right now at my penthouse--only the best for the Princess of Festus. The penthouse almost always has TV, AC, internet, electricity, and water! Hope you all are having great days, and I hope you did some celebrating in my honor yesterday!

The Sound of Grief

Let me first apologize for the delay in posting. The last 13 days have been challenging; the last 5 especially challenging. I knew coming here there would be tough days. This is true any time I leave my comfort zone. As much as I hate to admit it, I really like having routine in my life. That's one of the reasons I do what I do: to force myself out my comfort zone--to be challenged. And challenged I have been.

As I sit here trying to write, I am at a loss on how to start. One of the main tasks I was supposed to be accomplishing was holding nursing conferences (lectures & training sessions). I have been here close to one month now, and none of the sessions have been held. I have been delayed for the last 3 weeks for a variety of reasons--some valid, some not so much. I am prayerful that it will actually happen this week.

Prior to my coming, I was under the impression that most people here understood that lack of quality nursing care was a major contributor to patient morbidity and mortality. I still think the administrators, physicians, and some of the nurses understand this. However, there are so many complex factors at play here, training is often the first thing swept aside. It seems training is quick to be postponed, but special meetings are held to "redistribute" staff almost weekly. But all of this is really just a minor annoyance. One of those reported complications of working internationally, and not what has really been weighing me down.

After being here for some time, I began to realize that it wasn't if a patient would die while I was here, but when. "When" has arrived. . . twice in 36hours. Certainly, death is something I deal on a somewhat regular basis in my line of work. And, since I have been doing this type of mission work, I have yet to leave the country without someone dying. The situations have all been vastly different, but death is the end result. I would take it personally, except I know I don't have control of this.

We've probably all heard about people in "other" countries dying because they couldn't get the help and treatment they needed. It's one thing to know this and quite another to be smacked in the face by it. On last Wednesday, I realized that one of the patients (a gentleman) needed a general surgery consult to investigate a GI bleed. The cardiac surgeon agreed and the request was made. The gentleman died on Saturday morning still waiting to be seen by the general surgeon. To say the least I was horrified and heartbroken. He'd had a stroke following his heart surgery at the beginning of June. I held his hand during painful procedures, while he was bathed him, and when he cried out in pain. I was right there. Everyone knew what needed to be done. The resources are available in Suly, it just didn't get done. And he died because of it.

I'm sorry this post is such a downer. The bedside teaching is going pretty well. Many of the nurses have started asking me questions about patients and care; :that is encouraging. Even if the lectures never happen, some of them have taken initiative and seeking out the information. As I write this, the question of proper translation for tomorrow's conference loombs. Please be in prayer for this.

I want to end this post on a high note. So, here is an adorable child I met the other evening while I was waiting for my driver. Isn't he so cute?!

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

Bethany & I washing the knives so we could cut vegetables for our picnic. Washing in the stream and then rinsing with filtered water (from my Nalgene). This was before the hike.

These are the falls! Aren't they just beautiful?! Ahmed Awa! I made just be geographically challenged, but I had no idea part of Iraq looked like this. I assumed it was desert, desert; loved this oasis. Actually, I found out that Suly is a common vacation destination for Arabs escaping the Baghdad heat. It's a balmy 122 there, whereas Suly is a cool 110-115 this time of year.

These were the "stairs" to get to the top of the falls. Without the "small stairs" one came up mid-thigh on me. I really felt as though I should have had climbing gear on. That's Bethany climbing; she and her husband are two of my new friends. (Miss you guys!)

Again, repelling gear to come down.

This was on the way to the top. I didn't alter this camera angle at all!

Beautiful view from the top!

The ridge I'm pointing to in the distance--behind that is Iran. Don't worry, this really is the closest I got. As hiking goes it's probably a 2-3 day trek to get there. Again, no plans to go there. I enjoy my Suly freedoms!

Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Picnics & Policies

Today I started my second official workweek. (If I didn't mention it before, the workweek starts on Sunday here.) This week I will begin my "lecture series." It sounds much fancier that it is. That being said I have been working on this curriculum for a little over a month. The process of developing, implementing, and evaluating the curriculum will hopefully eventually become the basis for my MPH thesis. My first lesson is on vital signs (how to take them, when to take them, why take them?) It seems basic, but basics are necessary. I have been in the ICU and hospital for 4 full days. I have seen quite a bit; some parts okay, other, not so much. I am trying really hard to not swoop in and fix everything. ICU nurses tend to be pretty Type A--controllers. Of all the ICU nurses I know, I am among the more laid-back variety. However, I am who I am, and watching patients be under unnecessary risk is nearly impossible for me.

That said, I have had some wonderful teaching moments the last couple of days, which I have truly appreciated. I am starting to figure out what some of the barriers to learning and teaching are here. I am sure I'll learn more on Thursday when I actually try to teach.

Tomorrow, I will go into the hospital for the afternoon. Hopefully, I'll get there before the patient comes back from the operating room. I learn a great deal about colleague relations and communication styles during that relative high stress time.

In the morning, I am going to the immigration office to apply for residency. It's a requirement for anyone here longer than 10 days. I tried to go last week, but the office was apparently in the process of moving to another location. There were probably a hundred people or so milling around trying to get all their signatures and blood work when the lights went out & registration stopped. It was very confusing for this white girl. The Samaritian's Purse lawyer said, "Ok, it's not open anymore, maybe next week." I love it. We'll just keep trying.

A great Kurdish tradition is picnicking. Yesterday, Nawzad and Omar (2 Samaritian's Purse staffers) took the other 4 non-Kurds (John, Brian, Bethany & I) to Ahmed Awa for a picnic. Ahmed Awa is in the East of country. It was amazing. We were driving through the desert for a couple of hours until we entered this lush oasis. The stream was rushing past us as we ate. After lunch we went for a quick hike up to the main waterfall. It was beautiful! It reminded me of Yosemite; except that at Yosemite you can feel the falls coming, because the air gets so thick with moisture. Here they just came out of no where. The falls themsleves came from within the mountain. I had been told it was beautiful, but it really was surprising how stunning it all was.

I'd love to show you pictures as evidence but I am having trouble loading pictures onto this post. Any suggestions? I'll take them. By the way, it's now Tuesday, and I am not sure if the lecture will happen this weekend. Each day this week I have heard a different reason why. Today it was, "We must talk to the Head Nurse of the hospital and get an order to have conference." This was news to me. No one told me I had to get outside permission to teach. Oh the joys of finding your way through red tape!

Hope your week is going well! God bless!

Safely Ensconced in Northern Iraq

This title may seem to be a bit of an oxymoron, but I truly am. After leaving the States on June 1 and overnighting in Amman, Jordan, I arrived in Sulaymaniyah (Suly) on the 3rd. I spent the first couple of days getting settled into my apartment and hanging out with some of the wonderful Samaritan's Purse staff here. I actually got to see Iron Man 2 my second night here! (Fun movie) I feel totally safe here. I have been shown (on a map) were the conflict areas are, and don't worry, I have no plans to go there. It's mostly cities you've heard of. Mosul & Kirkuk are the closest conflict cities, and they are not that close. Plus, you have to try to get to them. Again, I have no plans to try. Rest assured, all my worriers!

On Sunday I started work. I will spend the next 2-ish months working with the ICU nurses at the heart hospital enhancing their skills, teaching some advanced care concepts, and helping them put it all into practice. The heart hospital has been open for 2 months and treats mainly adults, but also some children. Fortunately, over the last 2 days we performed surgery on two 8-year-old girls (who are both doing well). If it's not obvious, I say 'fortunately' because I'm more comfortable working with kids than I am with adults. Adults tend to be so much bigger than I: scary!

Dr. Jaafar is the cardiothoracic surgeon here. Through a complicated network of networking, he requested that I come. Well, not me specifically, that would be weird, but someone with my kind of background to come and train the nurses here. And since I am in school, had a 'free' summer (thanks, CHOA, for my leave of absence), & in need of a project for my public health thesis (not to mention that I am actually interested in this kind of work), I'm here. He has basically given me free rein to do whatever I want, however I want, as long as it gets done.

There are definately barriers and obstacles to overcome, but with patience and a teachable spirit (on everyone's part, especially mine), I believe this is do-able. More about this later, I'm sure.

Okay, enough about that. The countryside here is beautiful! I have a lovely view of the mountains from my 3rd floor balcony; althougth there is a dust storm today, so I can't actually see them. It's hot, very hot, and getting hotter (like 120+ degrees). Thank God for AC. Ironically, today I have AC, but no running water in my apartment. The super is working on it. I'm sure it'll be back on soon. No shower for me this morning; it's okay, it would have been cold anyway. Cold showers are almost as good as coffee, almost. If anyone is wondering what to get me for my birthday, my french press broke leaving me no other option but instant coffee. Not a great option, let me tell you; however, anything is drinkable given enough milk & sugar. But for future refence Nescafe (the brand of instant coffee here) will now be referred to as Nes-crappe.

Thanks for checking in on me! And for those who have, thank you so much for committing to praying for me. I truly covet your prayers and God has made his presence known to me more than once in exciting ways. God bless!

Stranded in England . .

. . . And having a great time at it. I am sure many of you are quite confused about what exactly transpired to get me here. I'm still working it out myself. By the Lord's provision, I had planned an overnight stay with a friend of mine from Mercy Ships (Sue Lord) who lives in the English countryside. I was supposed to spend one night with her and her husband; then get on to Heathrow; then fly to Yemen. I had an evening flight out, so we had planned to spend the day driving around looking at churches, having a pub lunch, and other sundry items. Before we went out, I checked my email just to be sure I hadn't missed anything. Good thing I checked. There waiting for me in my inbox was a lovely email from the US Embassy in Yemen informing me and the rest of the team that we were no longer wanted--rejected by my own government! Actually, the apartment we were to be lodged in had been attacked overnight. After much prayer and consideration, the team decided that this was not the best time for us to visit Yemen. I'm not sure if our profile got too high, or if it those responsible had just hit a lucky target. I think it's probably impossible to know.

So, after a few international phone calls (sorry, Lord family) and a sense of deflation, I was back to the drawing board of this trip. Because I was supposed to go to Egypt with the team, that's out as well. Had I done any of the planning or research for this trip, I might have gone on alone. However, since all of my knowledge of Egypt comes from The Ten Commandments, The Mummy, and The Prince of Egypt, I decided going by myself would not be on the list of the "Smartest Things Molly's Ever Done." Plus, it is difficult to identify historic landmarks when your reference point is a cartoon. Case in point, Simba (The Lion King) is not as cuddly as one would think!

So, the new revised plan: to become a true English lady! (It may take longer than the 2 weeks I've got. Don't tell Sue my hostess cake!) I have been quite busy learning to say things like "quite" and "trousers" and "just pop 'round to the. . ." Yesterday we went for a walk 'round the countryside. A "walk" in England is not what we would consider a "walk." It is more like a trek. But the best part is that you get to walk through pastures were sheep are grazing and lambing. Fortunately, no one actually lambed while we walked past, but if one had Sue's husband Chris is a veterinarian and Sue and I are both nurses! I also had my pub lunch yesterday.

It's very nice being out here, because few foreigners get down to this part of the country. So, my dream of being in a place where people are fascinated by my accent has come true! (It's a silly dream, I know!) When we were walking out of the pub, I greeted a boy of about 5. He cocked his head to the side and exclaimed, "Where are you from?" I told him America; it seemed easier than Festus. Then Sue asked where he was from, and he said, "I'm from England!"

I have also infiltrated England's seedy underbelly--the world of the WI (Women's Institute). Sue already had a Mercy Ships talk set up for last night, so I got to go with her. Those women got just a taste of the international scope of Mercy Ships. No matter they had trouble understanding anything I said! By the way, the movie Calendar Girls is about the women of the WI. Yes, this chapter is getting ready to do a calendar as well; they claim is won't be as "tarty." If I were you, I'd place my order now. Did I mention the mean age is 73.8-years-young?

On the hillside in back of Sue & Chris's house, the region's point-to-point race was held. Point-to-Point as I have learned is a horse and pony race with jumps. Horse and pony race not to be confused with dog and pony show. The race course goes all over the hillside, estimated about 2 laps at 1 1/4 each. There's anywhere from 10 to 18 horses running at a time, and it's not uncommon to see a horse racing sans rider! Presumably, the jockey is fine, as he usually turns up eventually.

The new plan also includes 6 days in Edinburgh with other Mercy Ship friends. I've never been to Scotland so I am really looking forward to it. Hopefully, I won't get peer pressured into eating haggis. Already had it; no thanks, I'm full from that last bite 3 years ago!

Eventually, I will get back on track and go to Australia. Instead of flying as originally planned, I'll fly from London. Thank the Good Lord for comprehensive travel insurance and his direction in buying it! Only He knows our coming and our going! As far as I know, I am still coming home on the 21st of May, but clearly I can not be held to that.